In
the words of motivational speaker Jim Rohn:
“You
are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
The
people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They determine what
conversations dominate your attention. They affect to which attitudes and
behaviors you are regularly exposed. Eventually you start to think like they
think and behave like they behave.
We become like the people that we
(choose to) expose ourselves to. It follows that you can accelerate your
personal growth in whatever direction you desire by spending time with people
who already are who you want to become.
That will infect you with the
behaviors and attitudes that helped them achieve their success, making it more
likely that you will realize similar results in your life.
The kind of people you interact with influences (1) your consciousness level and (2) your beliefs and behavior in a
particular area.
I have found that
there are two factors that determine the extent to which your thoughts and
actions are influenced by the people around you. The first is your
consciousness and resilience as an individual. The second is the collective
sum of consciousness of the people you are with.
You may be the most
conscious and smartest individual around, but if you are constantly surrounded
by negative, fear-based people in your life, it will impact who you eventually
become and your progression in life. If you are heavily grounded, there may be
a limited downside that your negative friends can bring you. However, you also
get a limited upside as you are spending time with people who hold you
back rather than people who can be elevating you.
This is what Robert
Kiyosaki experienced as well, which he shared in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He had two dads —
his real dad, stuck in the middle-class with limiting views on money, and his
poor dad, one of the wealthiest man in Hawaii and who was smart about getting
money to work for him. By consciously choosing to learn about money from his
rich dad, he acquired many beliefs and a positive mindset on how to become
rich, which eventually led him to become successful in life.
If you hang out with a
group of successful, positive individuals who believe in taking responsibility
for their lives, you will become a proactive individual who shapes
his/her future. If you hang out with a bunch of pessimists who believe that
the world is out to get them and there is nothing worthwhile, you will start to
descend into a pool of negativity at some point, even if you are initially a
positive person.
This is especially
important in goal achievement because the consciousness you vibrate at
affects your thoughts and actions. If you want to lose 20lbs of weight, you
need to think as your ideal end state — someone who makes good food and
lifestyle decisions. But if you constantly surround yourself with people who
eat a lot, you make it harder to eat a healthy diet. At this point, your
ability to stay on track in your health goal will boil down to how focused and
resilient you are. Consider how much easier this task becomes if you are
already hanging out with like-minded people who share a similar goal, or even
people who have already achieved this goal.
Of course, this does
not mean that you should sever relationships or cut away anyone who doesn’t
contribute to your goals. It just means that you should monitor your contact
with people who do not enable you to become a better person. Only in the event
that a person is seriously dragging you down should you cut him/her away.
Remember, if you entrench yourself in relationships that do not elevate you or
bring you forward, you are not really helping yourself, and neither are
you helping the other person. That’s because you are not being the best you can
be and subsequently, not being the best you can be to them. You may also be
indirectly enabling them in their own negative behaviors.
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