Often in life we talk about things without having a clear
idea of what they really are. Most people treat a belief as if it's a thing,
when really all it is is a feeling of certainty about something. If you
say you believe that you're intelligent, all you're really saying is, "I feel
certain that I'm intelligent." That sense of certainty allows you to
tap into resources that allow you to produce intelligent results. We all have
the answers inside of us for virtually anything—or at least we have access to
the answers we need through others. But often our lack of belief, our lack of
certainty, causes us not to be able to use the capacity that resides within us.
A
simple way of understanding a belief is to think about its basic building
block: an idea. There are a lot of ideas you may think about but not really
believe. Let's take, for example, the idea that you're sexy. Stop for a second
and say to you, "I'm sexy." Now, whether it's an idea or a belief
will come down to the amount of certainty you feel about this phrase as you say
it. If you think, "Well, I'm not really sexy," what you're really
saying is, "I don't feel very certain that I'm sexy."
How do
we turn an idea into a belief? Let me offer you a simple metaphor to describe
the process. If you can think of an idea as being like a tabletop with no legs,
you'll have a fair representation of why an idea doesn't feel as certain as a
belief. Without any legs, that tabletop won't even stand up by itself.
Belief,
on the other hand, has legs. If you really believe, "I'm sexy," how
do you know you're sexy? Isn't it true that you have some references to support
the idea—some experiences in life to back it up?
Those
are the legs that make your tabletop solid, that make your belief certain.
What
are some of the reference experiences you've had? Maybe men and women have told
you that you're sexy. Or maybe you look at yourself in the mirror, compare your
image to that of those whom other people consider sexy, and say, "Hey, I
look like them!" Or maybe strangers on the street call out and wave14 to
you. All these experiences mean nothing until you organize them under the idea
that you're sexy. As you do this, the legs make you feel solid about the idea
and cause you to begin to believe it. Your idea feels certain and is now a
belief.
Once
you understand this metaphor, you can begin to see how your beliefs are formed,
and get a hint of how you can change them as well. First, though, it's
important to note that we can develop beliefs about anything if we just find
enough legs—enough reference experiences—to build it up. Think about it. Isn't
it true that you have enough experiences in your life, or know enough other
people who have gone through tough times with other human beings, that if you
really wanted to you could easily develop the belief that people are rotten
and, given half a chance, would take advantage of you?
Maybe
you don't want to believe this, and we've already discussed that it would be
disempowering, but don't you have experiences that could back up this idea and
make you feel certain about it if you wanted to? Isn't it also true that you
have experiences in life—references—to back up the idea that if you really care
about people and treat them well, they are basically good and will want to help
you too?
The
question is: which one of these beliefs is the true belief? The answer is that
it doesn't matter which one is true. What matters is which one is most
empowering. We all can find someone to back up our belief and make us feel more
solid about it. This is how human beings are able to rationalize. The key
question, again, is whether this belief is strengthening or weakening us,
empowering or disempowering us on a daily basis. So what are the possible
sources of references in our lives?
People
so often develop limiting beliefs about who they are and what they're capable
of. Because they haven't succeeded in the past, they believe they won't be able
to succeed in the future. As a result, out of their fear of pain, they begin to
constantly focus on being "realistic." Most people who constantly say,
"Let's be realistic," are really just living in fear, deathly afraid
of being disappointed again. Out of that fear, they develop beliefs that cause
them to hesitate, to not give their all—consequently they get limited results.
Great leaders are rarely "realistic." They are intelligent, and they
are accurate, but they are not realistic by other people's standards. What is
realistic for one person, though, is totally different from what is realistic
for another person, based upon their references
If
you're going to make an error in life, error on the side of overestimating your
capabilities (obviously, as long as it doesn't jeopardize your life). By the
way, this is something that's hard to do, since the human capacity is so much
greater than most of us would ever dream. In fact many studies have focused on
the differences between people who are depressed and people who are extremely optimistic.
After attempting to learn a new skill, the pessimists are always more accurate
about how they did, while the optimists see their behavior as being more
effective than it actually was. Yet this unrealistic evaluation of their own
performance is the secret of their future success. Invariably the optimists
eventually end up mastering the skill while the pessimists fail. Why? Optimists
are those, who, despite having no references for success, or even references of
failure, manage to ignore those references, leaving unassembled such cognitive
tabletops as "I failed" or "I can't succeed." Instead, optimists
produce faith references, summoning forth their imagination to picture
themselves doing something different next time and succeeding. It is this
special ability, this unique focus, which allows them to persist until eventually
they gain the distinctions that put them over the top. The reason success
eludes most people is that they have insufficient references of succeeding in
the past. But an optimist
operates with beliefs such as, "The past doesn't equal the future."
All great leaders, all people who have
achieved success in any area of life, know the power of continuously, pursuing
their vision, even if all the details of how to achieve it aren't yet;
available. If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful
beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything,
including those things that other people are certain are impossible.
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